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Monday, October 7, 2013

Jordan part 2

Previously, I had written a post JORDAN pt 1 concerning a decision I had came to by the end of the summer pertaining to my 15 year old son, Jordan. I thought that the appropriate place to start would be about how much my son has amazed me from the day he came into this world. All my children have, but this is a story just about Jordan, a.k.a Bubbie to those who know and love him.

I think I mentioned Bubbie's accomplishments in school before. From his excitement the first day of preschool, to his first day of kindergarten, he has always loved to soak up knowledge and learn new things. I remember more than once arguing with him about staying home sick. He would want to go anyways, he didn't want to mess up his attendance, in fourth grade he was already talking about attendance being helpful even when he applied for the colleges he wanted to go to. He always pushed himself to excel. he made merit and honor rolls every year.

Last year Jordan attended our city high school for the first year and almost immediately I started noticing changes within him. He went from praising Jesus on his Facebook page to having drama all the time. He went from having a positive attitude to being constantly argumentative, almost like he was looking for a fight. There were a few times I would read things he wrote that would say he needed to let certain people go in order to walk with Jesus. Then a couple weeks later he would be playing football with these same people instead of going to church. He often made excuses to stay home from school. I grew sad and concerned for my son. I knew in my heart that the issues Jordan was having went deeper than just normal teenage hormones.

Jordan was in a war within himself. Whatever bullying he took at school for being the person he was, it was tearing him apart, confusing him. I tried time and again to talk to him. My son is very prideful. I knew that he was/is very devoted to God, and to our church, and whatever strain he was being put under at school to be different was making him feel guilty towards our God. He grew depressed, and moody, he often made a joke about counseling. I let him know in all seriousness that if he required that we would make it an option. By the time summer came back around he told me he flat out refused to go back to the high school, that he would cause so much grief, just so he wouldn't have to go there. I knew that even threatening to cause trouble for himself hurt Jordan because his education had always been his priority. From a very young age he was concerned with colleges and maintaining his attendance, and his grades. Whatever he had to go through at that high school, he had made up his mind that I couldn't help him with it, so he was not going to talk to me about it. He also was not going to endure another year and to him, that's like flushing everything he had worked so hard to achieve down the toilet.

So then and there I made up my mind, I would listen to what my son was telling me, I knew I had to find a resolution! Going back to that place was the last option. I knew that if I sent Jordan back there, he would lose his direction all together.

I often hear about parents that just basically ship their kids off to school with a little advice about handling the negatives but over all saying everyone has to deal with it sooner or later you will be fine, just ignore it. I think that if you really listen to your children, you can hear a lot more than just what their words are actually saying.

I watched my son go from being one person at the end of 8th grade to another at the end of 9th grade, I knew I needed a solution. I had a couple possibilities I was considering already. It definitely was a summer of much thought and many conversations. I should probably end this post here and go into that in my next post. I have so many thoughts concerning the education of our children that also will have to be a different post.

I wish you all a wonderful week... and please let us know if you have had similar experiences with your children. Have they been in situations at school that have really impaired their mental health?

3 comments:

  1. It is interesting you brought this up. I have been talking to my husband lately about our sons going to school. I really do not think I am a good person to home school my children. I am medical smart but that is about it. I want my children to be exposed to all types of learning. So in saying we spoke about how my oldest is very gifted in learning but he is also a pleaser. I told my husband before I watch him go down the wrong path I will learn to be that at home school teacher. I see my children as my #1 job and I will do everything to allow them to get everything out of life they can. I agree with you listen to your children. Thank you for this and I can not wait to hear what plan God has lead you too.

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  2. Thank you as well, sometimes its just nice to know that your not alone in your thinking...my next post will be up in a couple days and i would really enjoy hearing your feedback as it was one of the biggest decisions i have had to make concerning my son..ill be back soon God Bless you and yours...

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  3. No, my son is too young for school at the moment. But honestly with everything going on in public schools these days and m,e ability to stay home Im really considering home schooling and doing rec activities for social interaction. I used to work with kids in a psychiatric facility and it was so sad the young age of suicidal ideation do to bullying.

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