They sound on paper like a nice 'normal' family. The difference is she works and he stays home with their son. They decided when she was pregnant that one of them would always be Zaine's caretaker, no babysitters. I love that idea. After Zaine was born, very much to my liking and maybe due to some persuasion, they moved down here where I raised my family. They, he more than she I'm sure, wanted to be with family. I was and of course still am absolutely thrilled with that choice. She has major brownie points with this grandma. Due to lack of work they could not both find jobs opposite shifts. Cost of living is a little lower here so they chose for one of them to stay home and be caretaker, in my mind mom has always been the one that rocked them to sleep at nap time, took them to the park, clothed and fed them, knew their every want and need (the caretaker.) Times they have been a changing, in some areas I had to learn that I have not changed. I always told my dad jokingly don't be stuck in the sixties, well I found myself stuck in the eighties. She found a job first making more than he could, working the restaurant daytime shift. That means eight to twelve hours a day starting at the time they say and ending at the time they say, scheduled but always different. Cooking is her dream job, not to say that it is an easy one, as it is far from it. Jeff does awesome with the baby. I'm grandma and yet when daddy comes in he wants him, now! Jeff knows what makes him upset or why he's crying (most of the time.) They have bonded so tightly that he has that "mom" bond with both his mom and his dad! I guess that would make it a daddy bond.
In the beginning I admit that I wasn't the most supportive. I caught my self intentionally making remarks like "Where's mommy oh, there HE is." I finally couldn't stand that I was being so ignorant to my own son and sat down to think about what it could be that was really troubling me and causing me to be so callus. I dug deep inside and finally the answer came to me. Was my own son becoming one of today's so called "bitches"? That stands for a man that runs the house so he doesn't have to work. A man that drops the woman off at work takes the kid and hangs out with his friends all day (doing who knows what.) In his defense, my son does neither. Now I know some of you know the kind of man I'm talking about. I have known of a couple and I could not see not my son going down that path. We talked about it. He was appalled, with every right.
One afternoon I was with my daughter and seen from the high sitting SUV window an old friend, we weren't to close but enough so that I knew some of her family affairs. At the very moment I saw her I experienced a fireworks awakening. She also worked and her husband was the caretaker of their two children. Not because he was lazy or she made more as they both have great jobs, but because she loved her job, it was her dream job. He patiently did "his" job as caretaker until things moved a bit and they could both work. Maybe all those male caretakers aren't as bad as I assumed after all. I keep telling myself assume nothing, yeah right! Maybe next time I'll learn.
What do you think of the roles reversing? Do you know men of either caliber?